How much?

How much am I willing to love?

Is. 62:1 was a verse that seemed to be prevalent for my preparation to go to Honduras. It had the idea of building up God's people, of being zealous for God's name and glory among the church, and sending the church out to other nations.

For Zion's sake I will not keep silent,
       for Jerusalem's sake I will not remain quiet,
       till her righteousness shines out like the dawn,
       her salvation like a blazing torch.

I have been reading 2 Corinthians (which is reminding me of other verses in Paul's letters) and I have been challenged. How much do I really love God—and his presence among His people? How much do I really love? I will let the Bible speak for itself:

"But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you" (Ph. 2:17).

"My dear children, for whom I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you" (Gal. 4:19).

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers" (1 John 3:16; see also John 5:13).

"I will very gladly spend for you everything I have and expend myself as well" (2 Cor. 12:15).

"Besides [all my, Paul's, sufferings,] I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is lead into sin, and I do not inwardly burn?" (2 Cor. 11:28-29).

"You have such a place in our hearts that we would live or die with you" (2 Cor. 7:3).

Love is patient, Love is kind…..bearing with each other's faults, idiosyncrasies, putting your own agenda aside, dying to self daily in the little things. Not only that, kind is active—it helps, cares for others. Did not Jesus have patience with those who came to him—with me!? Did not Jesus welcome the little children, even when it appeared that there were more important things to do? After all, there was a world to save.

Does not envy, does not boast, it is not proud….How often I seek my own good, seek my own approval! But Paul lifted others up, truly rejoiced when they received good things and blessings and honor, even when he was looked upon as a failure (2 Cor. 13:6-7). Am I willing to lift others up, even when I seem unjustly denied or neglected? Was not Jesus hailed as a criminal and put to death in the most humiliating, painful manner, so that we might live and know him?

It is not rude, not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs….again, whose good am I seeking? Anger, grudges, rudeness, and self-seeking is about rights. Am I willing to lay down all "my rights" to love others, to see that they are made perfect in Christ? What rights did Jesus claim, as the Son of God, and Creator of the Universe?

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth….A tough love, but one that sorrows with them, that desires repentance, that leads to their ultimate good. Am I willing to sacrifice their friendship and approval in order to shine the light of truth (if they choose to reject the truth)? Am I more in love with myself, and thus seek their nice friendship, than I am in love with them and desiring to elevate them? ("Was it a sin for me to lower myself in order to elevate you by preaching the gospel of God" 2 Cor. 11:7; "We are glad whenever we are weak but you are strong; and our prayer is for your perfection" 2 Cor. 13:9). Was not Jesus willing to undergo near death threats so that they may hear the truth? (Luke 4:28-30).

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres….Always is not a light word. People will hurt, betray, fail, wander, yell at you, give up on you, deliberately hurt you and make you angry. How many times should Jesus have given up on me, and stopped trusting in me, stopped hoping that I can become more like Him, stopped persevering in his work in me to bring me to completion in Him?

Please pray for me, that I may understand what this message means for me here and now and today. Pray that I will have the courage to follow, that I will love HIM who loved me.

I guess, the real question is, not how much I love, but how much does Christ love?

"For I am not seeking my own good, but the good of many, so that they may be saved. Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ" (1 Cor. 10:33-11:1).