Review: The Gospel and Same-Sex Marriage

I was afraid to review this book.

Controversy.

And I shy away from conflict. Run.

What I didn’t realize—and this book made me realize—how much I run from conflict. The book challenged me, stepped on my toes. Questioned.

That is what we need from this book. The book’s intent was to equip the church to engage—perhaps it orients us to the subject, rather than equipping with tools and responses. The advantage of that orientation is it is for every one of us—I think sometimes we get daunted by the subject because we feel we need to have all the answers, know the science and latest research, and have read tomes, volumes, and journals on the subject. Read all what I appreciated at my review here.

There are many things I’d like to share from this book. But this was my prayer for me, for us that I took from it: May we not run. May we instead present FOR. May we so be FOR marriage and so present the beauty and the wonder of God’s design for marriage, delve into the delight of marital intimacy, that it burns before the world. That society wants the kind of marriages that the Bible holds forth. That our world wants to know the God who is the Great Designer who blesses and desires flourishing, the God who woos us. May we be so FOR marriage that the gospel is truly lived out as married Christian couples love, trust, sacrifice, honor, submit powerfully, lead sacrificially.

This goes back to an essential question (as the book contributors pulled out)—What is marriage? What is it that we are we for? Is it just a moral behavior? Is it just something that is right, one of the Ten Commandments? Is it just for children? Is it just about families? Is it just about the basic building block of society? All good things.

But listen, listen—marriage points to the heartbeat of God:

A God who before creation was one being in three persons. Marriage—one flesh, two persons. Can we show forth a marriage that shows glimpse into the perfect union of God?

A God who makes a covenant unto death for his people. A God who pursues adulterous/idolatrous Israel. Buys Gomer/Israel back. Marriage—“until death do us part.” Can we show that covenantal love?

A God who is love in his essence (1 Jn. 4:8) and delighted to share that love, pouring it out into others. Marriage—a love that gives itself.

A God who washes his disciples’ feet in powerful sacrificial leadership. His leadership is the kind that does not quench a smoldering wick or break a bruised reed. His headship is one that gives all for his wife, his bride, even his own blood. His leadership is one that gave truth and grace. Marriage—a husband leading sacrificially for the good of his family.

A God who submits under his Father, who said “Not my will but your will be done because I trust you, I trust your love, your wisdom, your leadership.” Marriage—a wife who submits joyfully because she knows her husband, trusts, sees his love for her.

A God who washes his people, cleanses them, clothes them with the fine linen of the saints. Marriage—a couple who sanctifies each other, pursues holiness together, forgives, gives grace.

And I could go on. This is our great God! The God of blessing, delight, love, sacrifice. Is this WHO our marriage shows? Marriage is primarily not about WHAT, but about WHO.

But how do we show FOR? Not just political advocacy. If we are going to be FOR, it takes trust in the Father that marriage is good even when the anger and conflict are high. It takes trust in a God who united (Mat. 19:6).

If we are going to be FOR, it takes commitment individually. It takes a practical outworking of marriage classes, retreats, counseling, preaching the gospel, giving sacrificially to couples to help them make it work. It takes not running away from our friends in conflict, getting messy, tearful, “God, why? Where?”

If we are going to be FOR, it takes community. Making the church into a true community where masks can come down, marital struggles can be shared.

Will we be FOR? FOR our God, our Husband?

“Fear not, for you will not be ashamed…. For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer….. with everlasting love I will have compassion on you, says the LORD, your Redeemer” (Isa. 54:4a, 5, 8b).