Gems

Prayer is like a treasure chest. We take out our deepest desires, our gems, and lay them out in prayer. Prayer once again dusts them off, polishes them. Prayer is an exercise of the heart, polishing life and hope into each jewel desire.

This brings out a deep beauty in Jesus’ prayer in John 17, hours before the cross, a beauty like the fire deep inside a ruby. Before the cross his heart gems were the Father, his disciples, the world that would be complicit in his death, us, the church. What rich themes go rippling out like the ruby’s light!

Jesus kneeling.

We, kneeling. Like our Lord, we go before the Lord on our knees. If I was before the cross my prayer? What gems from my heart? it would most likely be, “Father, give me the strength to endure. Help me. Help me. I’m afraid. Comfort me. I understand there is no other way, I trust you and I will go through, , but just give me a sense of your presence, comfort, etc. Oh help me, Father, I am not sure I can endure, help, help. . . . ” To be sure, my prayer is not inherently wrong. Like the psalmist, we are to pour out our heart.

But I wonder. . .

I wonder if my heart was so set on Father, kingdom, glory, church, others, Jesus that my prayer would look like Jesus’. I wonder if I did start intentionally praying that way, that greater peace, strength, and comfort that I was pleading for would come. Perhaps my prayer is still a prayer of fear--giving more space to that. And when I get my eyes off my fear and onto God’s calling, God’s greatness, God’s story, then peace in prayer. God works life through death--and perhaps a form of putting self aside in prayer is finding life too. The upside down kingdom.

When our prayers are more fear-swamped, when we are holding onto our small little gems rather than Christ’s rubies--that was what our High Priest was interceding for. He carried our weaknesses, so we might grow into him. He is enlarging our hearts, and bringing forth the fire of his rubies.