Journey through the Valley
I’m sitting here, draped in my dad’s blue lazy boy, tired. And it’s only 8:35 in the morning. Most of you know I’m still in the US until we get stomach issues figured out. But when I do get sick, it is something bigger. Right now, the good news is that I think we have some answers finally.
The other time I was really sick was in high school. There was a group of us girls with the same condition. Our phrase then was, “This too shall pass.” At that point, that seemed to be a shred of hope. But what hope was it? Just let’s get this over with so we can move on to…something. The other girls didn’t know Jesus—the Jesus who I am learning gives hope and purpose to everything.
As I walk through the valley of death, my first firm rock of hope: Jesus is with me as I go through this. As I go to the doctor’s offices or get lab tests, as I sit feeling ill, as I fight discouragement and confusion and being overwhelmed, and as the slightly frightening of not knowing an answer settles in my stomach, He is with me. He knows, KNOWS. He understands. He was human too, and knows the feelings and temptations of fright and pain and suffering.
I take a feeble step forward and land on the next solid rock: He is always at work, and always working for my good. There is a future and a present aspect to this. This too shall pass… and it will, thank goodness. What I don’t know if it will pass for better or for worse, yet He knows the future. And He is working in the present. I don’t have to just survive right now with a sigh to get on with things, but I can trust that He is forming me during this. That he infuses this time with purpose, even though I do not see it…. It can be so hard to see. But this is faith. He lifts my eyes up to the hills, even when I’m down in the valley of death. But He is also with me, strengthening my legs, giving me wisdom, creating me, forming me in the valley.
“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see” (Heb. 11:6). A beautiful, awful, and challenging verse.
I jump to another firm rock, even though it’s a little dark around me: Not only is He with me, not only is He is infusing this with purpose for my good presently and in the future, but also He will redeem this. Do you realize the significance of that!!! Redemption—God will work it for good, for blessing. But it is more than just preparing a future for hope (Jer. 29:11), more than him restoring the years the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25), even if it be in a far different way than I might have asked for. It is Him taking the pain, the suffering, the tiredness, what I see as wasted, hurt, destroyed, fit to be thrown out, what I want to forget forever…. He takes it and turns it into beauty. Redemption signifies restoration, but in a beautiful new way. I long to see that!!!! And praise God, I see how God is redeeming some of my experiences in high school now. Yet, sometimes we might not see it on earth… but in heaven I am sure going to jump up and down in childish delight to see how the Master Weaver redeemed it all!!!! I am sure we will see how God has worked all the things out, how God has brought others to Him because of my or your suffering or sickness or pain.
This joyful, triumphant hope is a far cry from what I’m feeling now… a little miserable. Yet, there is something more real than how I feel. Paul continually points to our eternal glory as an inspiration to keep going—to tread through that awful valley with joy. I’m still far from that, Paul. But I am learning to rest in the goodness of God even when it is dark.
“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Cor. 4:17-18). …. “Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ” (2 Cor. 1:21).
A fourth stone: God is my Creator and Maker. He knows what is going on in my body. Because of Christ, I can go to Him and He cares for me like His daughter. The Holy Spirit guides me through the valley. Thus, I have a Triune God whom I can run to when I’m discouraged, confused, overwhelmed, or uncertain.
A final giant boulder: God gives me his grace. When I have not done anything all day, and struggling against fatigue, I find myself beating myself up: “Just keep going, you shouldn’t be so tired, your to-do list isn’t even half way done…” At this point, I realize I have company on my trip through the valley, an evil one whispering in my ear: “What good are you if you can’t do even this? What good are you if you can’t help out? What have you really done today? You are worthless…” (If you don’t know, I fight against the performance trap, people pleasing, and perfectionism. That is where Satan attacks me).
God’s grace is bigger than that. I am not valued for what I have done or what I am doing, what I can do, or what I will do. I am valued because Christ has purchased me and I am in Him. I am covered with the precious blood of Christ (1 Peter 1:18-19). His grace finds me as I am sick, weak, discouraged, angry at Him for letting this happen, depressed, or in whatever state. His grace meets me where I am at and cradles me.
I am still learning about God’s grace, still journeying deeper into it. Perhaps I have to walk in the valley for longer to learn it. I have for years lived out of a law-based paradigm. I am still stunned at the moments when God reminds me of His grace.
And His grace has found me just as I am today… with nothing to give, nothing to offer, too tired to do, a little crotchety… but He has given me all things in Christ, he protects me in Christ, he gives me faith and strength in Christ, he gives me the breath in my lungs… and this is all GRACE. I have nothing today, but in Christ I have everything today—at this moment.
The other time I was really sick was in high school. There was a group of us girls with the same condition. Our phrase then was, “This too shall pass.” At that point, that seemed to be a shred of hope. But what hope was it? Just let’s get this over with so we can move on to…something. The other girls didn’t know Jesus—the Jesus who I am learning gives hope and purpose to everything.
As I walk through the valley of death, my first firm rock of hope: Jesus is with me as I go through this. As I go to the doctor’s offices or get lab tests, as I sit feeling ill, as I fight discouragement and confusion and being overwhelmed, and as the slightly frightening of not knowing an answer settles in my stomach, He is with me. He knows, KNOWS. He understands. He was human too, and knows the feelings and temptations of fright and pain and suffering.
I take a feeble step forward and land on the next solid rock: He is always at work, and always working for my good. There is a future and a present aspect to this. This too shall pass… and it will, thank goodness. What I don’t know if it will pass for better or for worse, yet He knows the future. And He is working in the present. I don’t have to just survive right now with a sigh to get on with things, but I can trust that He is forming me during this. That he infuses this time with purpose, even though I do not see it…. It can be so hard to see. But this is faith. He lifts my eyes up to the hills, even when I’m down in the valley of death. But He is also with me, strengthening my legs, giving me wisdom, creating me, forming me in the valley.
“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see” (Heb. 11:6). A beautiful, awful, and challenging verse.
I jump to another firm rock, even though it’s a little dark around me: Not only is He with me, not only is He is infusing this with purpose for my good presently and in the future, but also He will redeem this. Do you realize the significance of that!!! Redemption—God will work it for good, for blessing. But it is more than just preparing a future for hope (Jer. 29:11), more than him restoring the years the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25), even if it be in a far different way than I might have asked for. It is Him taking the pain, the suffering, the tiredness, what I see as wasted, hurt, destroyed, fit to be thrown out, what I want to forget forever…. He takes it and turns it into beauty. Redemption signifies restoration, but in a beautiful new way. I long to see that!!!! And praise God, I see how God is redeeming some of my experiences in high school now. Yet, sometimes we might not see it on earth… but in heaven I am sure going to jump up and down in childish delight to see how the Master Weaver redeemed it all!!!! I am sure we will see how God has worked all the things out, how God has brought others to Him because of my or your suffering or sickness or pain.
This joyful, triumphant hope is a far cry from what I’m feeling now… a little miserable. Yet, there is something more real than how I feel. Paul continually points to our eternal glory as an inspiration to keep going—to tread through that awful valley with joy. I’m still far from that, Paul. But I am learning to rest in the goodness of God even when it is dark.
“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Cor. 4:17-18). …. “Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ” (2 Cor. 1:21).
A fourth stone: God is my Creator and Maker. He knows what is going on in my body. Because of Christ, I can go to Him and He cares for me like His daughter. The Holy Spirit guides me through the valley. Thus, I have a Triune God whom I can run to when I’m discouraged, confused, overwhelmed, or uncertain.
A final giant boulder: God gives me his grace. When I have not done anything all day, and struggling against fatigue, I find myself beating myself up: “Just keep going, you shouldn’t be so tired, your to-do list isn’t even half way done…” At this point, I realize I have company on my trip through the valley, an evil one whispering in my ear: “What good are you if you can’t do even this? What good are you if you can’t help out? What have you really done today? You are worthless…” (If you don’t know, I fight against the performance trap, people pleasing, and perfectionism. That is where Satan attacks me).
God’s grace is bigger than that. I am not valued for what I have done or what I am doing, what I can do, or what I will do. I am valued because Christ has purchased me and I am in Him. I am covered with the precious blood of Christ (1 Peter 1:18-19). His grace finds me as I am sick, weak, discouraged, angry at Him for letting this happen, depressed, or in whatever state. His grace meets me where I am at and cradles me.
I am still learning about God’s grace, still journeying deeper into it. Perhaps I have to walk in the valley for longer to learn it. I have for years lived out of a law-based paradigm. I am still stunned at the moments when God reminds me of His grace.
And His grace has found me just as I am today… with nothing to give, nothing to offer, too tired to do, a little crotchety… but He has given me all things in Christ, he protects me in Christ, he gives me faith and strength in Christ, he gives me the breath in my lungs… and this is all GRACE. I have nothing today, but in Christ I have everything today—at this moment.
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