I am soooo incredibly thirsty right now. I didn’t even know I could drink that much! The medical tests are still out as to exactly why.
But I’ve had to ask myself, am I that thirsty for God? For the real God?
As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the LIVING GOD.
When can I go and meet with God?
Ps. 42:1-2
God wants to be seen as He really is.
C.S. Lewis, in his pain after his wife’s death, reflects how God uses his pain to call him to the Real God, stripping away his notions of a God who just is a jolly, blessing grandfather. He expresses it much better than I—and much rawer—in A Grief Observed:
“Not that I am (I think) in much danger of ceasing to believe in God. The real danger is of coming to believe such dreadful things about Him. The conclusion I dread is not 'So there's no God after all,' but 'So this is what God's really like. Deceive yourself no longer.'”
“But of course, one must take 'sent to try us' in the right way. God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn't. In this trial He makes us occupy the dock, the witness box and the bench all at once. He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize that fact was to knock it down. ...”
I ask myself:
Do I search for God, or for his blessing?
Do I want Jesus so much I will surrender all blessing to know Him?
Will I let go of my ideas of God and see Him as a Holy God? Let go of my ideas of what I really deserve, have, am? Will I see what he let Christ go through so that we can be with Him?
How many of us really want a God like that, who let His Son go through that? For love? Is that the kind of love we want?
How incredibly awful and wonder-ful is a God who loves us so much that he wants the best for us—and wants the best for us so much He allows us to suffer.
“I will bring [them] into the fire; I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, ‘They are my people,’ and they will say, ‘The LORD is our God.’” Zech. 13:9 (see also 1 Peter 1:17; Ps. 66:10; Is. 48:10; Jer. 9:7).
But Christ stepped into the ultimate furnace, what we could never bear. Christ bore it all so we can see God as He truly is. And He truly satisfies. Slowly, I’m learning that with His help, His refining, His patience, and His grace.
O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul THIRSTS for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.
I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
Because YOUR LOVE IS BETTER THAN LIFE
my lips will GLORIFY you.
I will PRAISE you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
My SOUL WILL BE SATISFIED as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
Ps. 63:1-5
Comments
Post a Comment