From, For

The drinking of the dregs may feel bitter.

The grasping hand loathe to give.

The now-pain may seem to fill a lifetime. 
But only then, receive.

We form contracts. God, I did ___, so ____. Then, disappointment, envy, bitterness, anger creeps in. God, I ___. You didn’t hold your end of the bargain!

But who are we to bargain with God? Did he ever sign the contract? (And, for that matter, how often do we hold our end of the bargain?)

But God. Not "but I," which is so often where we start. But God.

He formed a covenant relationship.

Moreover, he walked through that covenantal pact (Gen. 15).

He sets the terms. Not us.

God declared, "I, I myself, will keep the covenant. I, I myself will secure the ends.

At any price."

For God so loved the world, that he sent his only Son.

“Then his own arm brought him salvation, and his righteousness upheld him” (Isa. 59:16).

But God.

And starting with “But I,” starting with contracts, we may feel like we give, and give, and give. We die to self, we sacrifice, we ___. Entitlement creeps in. Grounds for anger. I do so much, so I deserve. I'm a good Christian, so I deserve. I give you, God. So I want. 

In pain, we look for bargaining ground. We look for the answers. We look for God to give and we question. Where's the abundant life you speak of (Jn. 10:10)? Are the boundary lines truly in good places (Ps. 16:10)? Do you truly withhold no good thing (Ps. 84:11)? Where is the land of milk and honey? God--are you holding out from me???

Do you hear the serpent's whisper? Contrast. Self. Knowledge of good and evil, my knowledge, my wants.

But we live in covenant. All is by grace. We have no bargaining power. Scary grace. Frightening humble.

But does God want something from us? The complete, perfect Triune God?

Or does he have something for us?

When we give, it is to receive.

The man who loses his life, will find it.

Instead of gaining the whole world, we give it up—and keep our soul.

The grasping hand must release to receive.

The cup must be emptied, even to the bitter dregs, to receive. 
The now-pain opens eyes and drains the pus.  
Suffering as a sieve and conduit out for self. 

God has something for us.

For.

For if God is for us…. (Rom. 8).

For us. And so for us, he gave his Son.

How can we doubt?

All contracts destroyed, envy dissipates, anger dissolves.

God is for us.

It may still feel like I’m being pressed, wrung, wrest, squeezed. I may feel empty. This now-pain may overwhelm.

But God is for me.

He has something for me.

Eternal pleasures at his right hand. Now, I may not see them. Now, I may still walk by faith even though there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel—but the end is not the end.

God is for me—for eternity.