Smog

Fear is the smog that chokes friendship. The smog that clouds our hearts and our soul-eyes from engaging. Fear is the evil haze of Satan that smothers friendship.

We often think of fear as feeling.

But fear is relational. Maybe even primarily relational.

Fear is a lack of trust. Trust is inherently in somebody, intrinsically relational.

Fear is faith that something negative will happen, thus fear is belief that a good God is not active, not there, not present, not in relationship with you at that moment. Fear is an affront to the God of hope and abundant in loving kindness.

Fear is so thick that like smog, we don’t realize we are breathing it in, breathing it out, living in it, imbibing it, letting it seep into our heart-cells like smog into our lung alveoli that is absorbed into self cells. Fear is the smog-air we breathe that absorbs itself into spirit cells that become part of who we are.

Unaware, living in it day after day, the cloud smothers our friendships. So thick we cannot touch each other anymore. And we are unaware because it is like breathing. We forget what fresh air is.

I didn’t realize how relational fear is or how immersed we are in it until reading Lisa-Jo Baker’s Never Unfriended: The Secret to Finding and Keeping Lasting Friendships. (A valuable read in many aspects—this was just one of the many breathes of fresh air I gained from her book; see the full review here).

Fear sees scarcity and seeks enough for self.

Fear is jealous because maybe I won’t get my due.

Fear I am not enough seeks to diminish others. Uses others to build self up and gain self-affirmations.

Fear fails to be vulnerable and really share self. How can someone really build a friendship with a mask or a persona?

Fear is always anxious about the next to-do on the list, the task, the finances, the health and fails to be really present with the other.

Fear is occupied with self agenda, and fails to really listen.

Fear creates a hedge of self-protection.

Fear manifests in control, trying to make the other into a “safe” person, or someone to ease my fears. How can someone be themselves and be real when you are trying to control them, make them in the image you want them to be?

Fear is faith in the works of the evil one.

Fear is a tool of the enemy who wants to sever relationships.

Fear is the lie in the Garden of Eden—what if God isn’t good? fear. What if God is holding out on us and I don’t get my share? fear. What if I’m missing out? fear. What if we need to watch out for ourselves? fear.

The antidote is to climb the mountain of God and get a fresh glimpse of him, his love, his friendship. Finally, breathe the fresh air from his holy mountain in his holy presence. Climb out of the valley city of fear smog. Let the fresh cascading wind of his love rush over you. The fragrance of his faithfulness waft wrapping around you. The solid rock of his never-unfriending you. Faith—the eyes to see God as he really is—is the fresh air antidote to the smog of fear. Seeing God, we can see others clearly without the cloud of fear. Knowing God and his acceptance of us, we can be vulnerable and real. Knowing the God of incarnation who came to be with us, we can be fully present. Knowing the Almighty, All-Wise, Providing God we can let go of our own self-protection, our own agendas.

For whatever fear smogs and clogs,

Our God offers fresh air.

The God who wants unity.

The God who gives ground for unity.

The God who calls himself our friend. Not only king, friend.

Fear washes away. In the fresh oxygen of God’s love and life, friendships flourish.